ASKING THE DEEPER QUESTIONS
It's that moment of clarity. Have you ever looked at your life and asked yourself the question, “I've created all of this success, but what do I want it to stand for?” It is a different than the why question that dominates most coaching containers. I dedicate my life to helping people reconnect with this idea of self-respect, and self-respect is it isn’t understood well. So what is that moment about and how does it take us forward? There are so many different answers out there, and I realise I'm contributing to this understanding that philosophers and academics and contemporary thinkers have contributed to for centuries, and it's about self-respect.
Self-respect stands for two really important things, it's to what extent do you believe that you are equal to everyone else, of equal worth? If you haven't asked yourself that question, then it is time because it drives everything that we do. The other is, what does it mean to be a human being? Why am I telling you this? Because these are the two questions that set the foundation for that which makes self-respect so important.
Why does it come up in that moment when you have mastered success? There's so many different points of view on that, but I would say that you momentarily stop trying to achieve, you momentarily stop being obsessed with the next thing that you need to achieve, and you pause, and what emerges from the inside out are those questions. We're not talking about achievement here, the next thing that you need to achieve, we're talking about an anchor. I mean, let that resonate, let that sit with you.
What is it that you are searching for? Are you looking to create meaning from what it is that you've created? That, believe it or not, is the process of respecting yourself, which is widely misunderstood. But to look for an anchor, not achievement, is not about self-esteem, it's not about self-confidence, because they're the two things that we focus on all the way up to becoming successful. How do I see myself? Do I believe I'm capable? Can I get there? It's that internal drive and motivation, but they're not the new questions.
The new questions are, how much do I respect others? How important am I to my relationships and my relationships to me? These are the deeper questions. Believe it or not, all of them have to do with this idea of self-respect. If that resonates, if that feels like it could be an anchor for you, then this is the channel that you can connect with to start asking yourself the deeper and richer questions.